Explosive Grace Space

There was an explosion in Beit Sahour today.



















Was it a terrorist attack? Yeah, that was my first thought too.


Is everyone ok? and Do I have to get ready to move? were the next thoughts to flash through my mind as I asked my coworkers for more information and looked at the pictures on Facebook.

Turns out, the explosion was only the result of an electrical problem with a truck carrying detergent. No one was hurt. Nothing harmful. Nothing aggressive. Nothing related to resistance or occupation. But that was my gut reaction.

Why?

Why is it that my immediate reaction is to try and stuff my experiences here into the tiny stereotypes I carried to this place?

Perhaps it was because I am still adjusting to the fact that I live in a place under occupation.

Maybe it is because I see weapons on soldiers and armored patrol vehicles pass me on my way to work everyday.

Part of it may be from my post 9/11 conditioning.

Some of it is fear of the known and the unknown.

I am still learning how to process the bad and difficult situations here. It is easy to just package them into the nice little bundles of "Middle East Conflict" and "Islamic Extremists" that I hear repeated in the US.

I KNOW these are not true. I see that everyday here. The people here are wonderful. I am safe. The conflict is not the good guy versus the bad guy on TV. It is messy. And complicated. And frustrating.

This is a moment for what a wise friend told me at orientation: a little bit of grace space.

I pray tonight for the strength to continue fighting my own stereotypes, for complete honesty with myself in this journey and for peace of mind and heart as I work to find a place in this tension.